Peripatetic Odyssey

We have a new label for our current life phase. We are unemployed, unhoused, and will begin roaming soon. We aren't fond of "retired" as that sounds sedentary. We are taking a gap year - except we aren't sure it will be just a year and, while we know one side of the gap is conventional existence with a home and a routine, the other side is a bit undefined - other than it will involving sailing.

A few days ago, we were having lunch with Dave's sister Jo and her husband Bruce and they shared with us the word, "peripatetic." Such a cool word! It is a synonym for nomadic. According to The Oracle of Google, it means someone who travels around a lot, living or working in places for short periods of time. The clever one of the Steinman-Salls duo (Salls) came up with "peripatetic odyssey". It has a very good ring to it. We think we need to have a bumper sticker made.

We had a fantastic bon voyage gathering with our Carson City crew and, of course, Blane was present. I am going to miss these women that I have known most (or all) of my life. No matter where we journey, Carson will always be home to me. I'm super excited about the idea of us all getting together in some new place and having great fun exploring. We may need a croquette rematch so I can try to redeem my loser self.

We are staying in Dayton with my brother until our departure. My mom has fed us a few times, Jon's grandkids have visited. We had a lot of sorting to finish after we got the house empty. I love my family. Having a soft spot to land is very comforting.

M (Dave's Scarab) is being shipped to Virginia on 7/30. Dave hasn't found a buyer yet. Another Scarab owner has graciously agreed to store her until she finds her next home. It is a relief to have a solution for M.

The upside about having to wait for M to ship out is that I got o see Hadestown with my best buddy since birth, the incredible Lisa Schuette. Wow! What a show. I'll need to find the soundtrack for our road trip. I'm glad we are having a little time for visits before we start our odyssey.

The past few weeks have been very, very challenging. I wrote the beginning of this post and first sentence of this paragraph on 7/29. On 7/30, I learned that my ex-husband, the father of my two incredible grown-up kids, died unexpectedly. On 7/29, I was referring just to the challenge of getting the house cleared out, deciding what was important or necessary enough to store or take, and the emotional storm that accompanies any major life change. I was physically and emotionally exhausted and there were several times in the week prior when I was so overwhelmed that I cried. I was not regretting the decision in any way; there was just SO MUCH. Today, on 8/2, "challenging" is no longer an adequate descriptor.

We have delayed our departure so I can be available for the kids if they need me and because I was a bit of a basket case for a couple of days. Twenty years and two kids is a lot of history with someone. The ending of our relationship was very hard and messy and awful. We could both have handled things differently. By his choice, we had not communicated in almost ten years. I feel sad for me, for the kids, for the way things could have been for the last ten years if we had not been "estranged." Estranged - that is such a desolate word. I intended to go to Tulelake and help, to be part of the process of retelling stories and honoring his memory. My kids are much wiser than I am and asked that I not go; that I give them the space to grieve without complicating the situation with my presence. I am so grateful for our wonderful Tule friends who are providing support, guidance and comfort to the kids. All my mom energy, my heart and my spirit are in Tule with my kids. Although it is super hard not being with them physically, it is not my place to be at this time.

Rather than "challenging," I think the right word is tumultuous. According to the Oracle of Google the definition is: full of tumult or riotousness; marked by disturbance and uproar: a tumultuous celebration. raising a great clatter and commotion; disorderly or noisy: a tumultuous crowd of students. highly agitated, as the mind or emotions; distraught; turbulent. The process of getting down to almost no possessions has been disorderly. My emotions have been very turbulent. The past few weeks have included times of celebration and distress. But, that is life isn't it?

We are now on Plan B.1.2. We will likely head to Portland in the next week and visit Dave's daughter and my brother and his wife (Don and Debbie). Then we will take the northern route to DC. Definitely going to visit Fargo, North Dakota because who, in their right mind, would not visit Fargo if they had the opportunity?